To All Future Mums
💓The Future Mum that knows she wants babies and wants to start trying.
💓The Future Mum that has been trying for a while, unmedicated and is thinking about next steps.
💓 The Future Mum that has been trying for too long now, getting desperate, has been under treatments and just wants to have a baby in her belly.
💓The Future Mum with endometriosis, or fibroids or any health issue that makes it that much harder to get pregnant.
💓The Future Mum that is already a mum but wants a brother or sister for her first baby and it doesn't happen.
All of you, and all the others that have different scenarios, but all have the same goal, the same beat in your heart for the baby that isn't there yet, I know you are craving to have nausea, bloating, gas, nipple darkening, and breast sensitivity, you can't wait to get constipated and see a lovely creamy vaginal mucus, maybe you're checking your temperature daily, at the same time and hoping it stays up..., you're watching Youtube videos about clues of early pregnancy from 7, 8, 9, 10 days DPO(Days Past Ovulation), your period has not shown up yet and it is already 3pm on the day you were expecting them, so you are taking a test, you might even have taken one or two before your period's due date, putting the test under different lights to guess a second line.
Oh how exhausting, how intense!
You are going to your gynaecologist's appointments with hope that this time something will be different, something will have changed. This time they can offer a miraculous solution, this time a treatment will come in and save the day! Whatever it takes, right? You've tried traditional or alternative medicines, or both. You even went to see a healer that your friend Carol suggested even though usually you would not even consider things like that, you started meditation, yoga, trying different diets..
All in all, you feel you are out of resources, you've tried everything in your power. Your hormones are going all over the place and a part from the stress induced by just trying for a baby and for it not happening, the changes in your hormonal balance because of extra progesterone, or extra oestrogen before ovulation time, is affecting your mood, you're the most vulnerable you have ever been and feel you cannot control it. Things start getting tensed between you and your partner, or maybe they're not but you get tensed, sex is no longer spontaneous, it's all about this baby you're trying to welcome in your womb.
It is a time that you hoped to be exciting but in the end, it is mainly stressful and you feel overwhelmed.
In all those cases, whatever stage you are at, a doula might be helpful.
You might just be at the beginning of the journey towards motherhood, and someone there who can let you speak freely about what you want, what you are scared of, what you are prepared to do, and making the best use of your resources in your area might be good. You might only feel the need for one or two visits. Even in that case, the doula will check on you to see how things are going thereafter, simply because she cares.
Or you have been waiting for a long time, and your midwife is amazing, and how grateful are we all for supportive midwives!!! A doula might be there to offer you emotional support, to check on you after your appointments, after you are trying new things, new ways of approaching your cycle, she might suggest different ways of helping yourself with all these emotions you are feeling. Without the medical aspecting weighing on her, the doula can be just an ear, someone who will let you go on about this subject so close to your heart without judgement.
I hope you get what you can get out of a doula if you are in your fertility journey, and of course, the bond you have created with her during that difficult time will remain the day you get your BFP(Big Fat Positive!), and she can follow you for that next step, as she already knows you, what you have been through and what you want.
At all times, the doula is connected in the community with great professionals(midwives, gynaecologists, osteopaths, acupuncturists, yoga teachers, psychologists, talking groups, massage therapists, other doulas.....) that she can refer to and discuss with to ensure she gathered all the information and support she can get, to then better help and support you and of course she will refer you to the professionals you could benefit from, to help you according to your specific needs and choices.
The doula will only follow your lead. If you're open to alternative medicines, what she will suggest will be adapted to YOU. She's a bit like the cookies you're always being asked about when you go on any website nowadays, she doesn't judge, or evaluate what you should or shouldn't want/do, she adjusts her suggestions and support to who YOU are.
Well I could go on, but I'll leave some for the next post about who can benefit from a doula.
Until then, to the future mums, I wish you to give yourselves tons and tons of empathy, there is someone thinking of you out there, and you are definitely not alone.
Thank you for taking the time to read me, and I hope you enjoyed it!
See ya! 😘